Moving home can play havoc with friendships.
For a child arriving at a new school, it may initially seem that some children have a best friend and that other have formed small groups, making them feel excluded. The child is forced to adapt to a new environment, and this may make them apathetic or anxious. Children and nursery school
Children of nursery school age or those just entering pre-school are particularly vulnerable when the family moves home because this stage of their development includes separation from their parents, adjusting to new figures of authority and adjusting to groups of classmates. Relocation can interfere with the regular process of separation, and may cause the child to regress and depend on their parents to an even greater extent. Generally speaking, the older the child, the more difficult it will be to move home, as their group of friends are an important part of their life. Preadolescents and adolescents will continuously protest against the move and may ask permission to remain in their own neighborhood and live with the family of a friend. Some young people do not talk about how upset they are, so parents should be watchful for any warning signs that may indicate depression, these include a change in appetite, withdrawal, doing badly at school, irritability, changes in sleeping patterns and other dramatic changes in their behavior.
Children that appear to be depressed by the idea of moving home may not be reacting so much to the idea of relocation as to the stress their parents are undergoing by settling down in a new area. On occasions, one of the parents may be against the move and the children may pick up on this and react to the contention within the family.
If a child systematically shows signs of depression or tension, the parents should ask their family physician, pediatrician, or the social services for a referral to a psychiatrist specializing in children and adolescents, so that the physical and emotional problems affecting the child as a result of stress can be diagnosed and treated. A psychiatrist that specializes in treating children and adolescents may also help the parents learn how to make the new experience easier for the family to cope with.
How to make moving home easier
The following steps can be taken to make moving home easier for both the children and the parents: give a clear explanation to the children about why the move is necessary, let the child familiarize himself with the new area as much as possible, this can be done using maps, photographs, or the daily newspaper, describe the advantages of the relocation so that the child can appreciate new factors, such as lakes, mountains or an amusement park. If your son or daughter is in the last year of secondary school, consider the possibility of allowing them to stay with a trustworthy family until they finish the school year.
The more frequently a family moves, the more important its internal stability becomes. If the parents pay enough attention to the problem and if professional help is received, in the case where this is warranted, moving home can become a positive growth experience for children, leading to greater self-confidence and improved social skills.
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